INTO THE WILDS / UNDERDARK CAMPAIGN JOURNAL
Campaign Background
Your adventuring party (The Itty Bitty Hitty Committee?) hails from the village of Rainbow Heights. Only demi-humans such as dwarves, halflings, and gnomes are permitted to live there. The village trades to nearby settlements for a living. Recently though there has been a bit of a falling out with one of their main accounts, the nearby hill fort of Wildsgate. Once a prosperous and growing community on the borders of civilization, Wildsgate has deteriorated....several years ago all of their Barons began dying before reaching the age of 30, each dying of natural causes.
The leader of your village, a grizzled dwarf named Brock Durhig, has asked for volunteers to go forth and assist the settlement in dealing with the mystery that plagues their current leader. Brock fought alongside him against an invasion of giants years ago and struck up a friendship with the young man. Helping his old friend will help you build relations with the fort and improve the trading business, something your village depends on.
Each of you knows a few rumors about the area surrounding Wildsgate…
CAST OF CHARACTERS
Brandon - DM
Jason - TIMMAH! (Halfling Ranger - K.I.A), Marnus (Dwarven Invoker - Current)
Tom - Sorrin (Dwarven Fighter - Current)
Marie - Helga (Dwarven Barbarian - Current)
Tony - Gaelen (Gnome Bard - K.I.A), Cynder (Gnome Wizard - K.I.A.), Adrik (Dwarven Paladin - Current)
Tommy - Dio (Gnome Rogue - Current)
John - Redbeard (Dwarven Cleric - M.I.A.)
01/07/10
Session begins with a little late night wrist wrestling with the captain of the guard while we try to gather some information. After many failed attempts, it took TIMMAH!!! the halfling to beat the captain at his own game and earn us a round on the house.... He must work out! We found out that the thief shrine is just to a normal joe who has been elevated by some of the townsfolk and they now sometimes even pray to him (heretics!). Redbeard staked out the shrine for a few hours but nothing eventful happened. So, after the gnome was taken into the side alley for a little "how's your father", we all hit the hay for an early morning gig.
We left town bright and early and ran into the guard group we were to relieve not too far out of town. THey told us approx. where their fire pit camp was and bounded off for home for no doubt a long weekend of drinking and wenching. We found their camp about 5 miles or so later and proceeded to prep the area with firewood. Soren and Timmah came up with an idea to lay a fake camp and hide in the bushes to take watch to see if anything came a'callin'. Around 1 in the morning, Helga became uneasy that something was watching her. After waking Gaelen, he too felt the eyes upon him. Gaelen went and tenderly woke up Redbeard while Helga woke the others. Once awake, the feeling left Helga & Gaelen while the others felt nothing but sleep in their eyes. Nothing was reported after a quick scout by Flutters so we went back to sleep and the rest of the night passed without incident.
In the morning, while we broke camp, TIMMAH! & Gaelen decided to take a little walk in the nearby area to scout (amoung "other things) for any tracks and/or markings of anything that may have been spying on us. While standing under a tree, TIMMAH! felt a tapping on his shoulder. Thinking it to be the giant johnson of Gaelen again, he jumped forward while turning around with weapon drawn only to see nothing. Looking up, he caught the horrid sight of a skinned and horribly mutilated body hanging. Gaelen went and retrieved the rest of the party and upon further investigation, we could not even discern the sex or any other identifiable marks on the body. Thinking it might be best if we move closer to the bridge (and ultimately to town), we began backtracking down the road. Upon reaching the bridge, we spied a severed head on a pike. As we got closer, TIMMAH!! noticed what looked like a trapdoor off to the south of the road. He picked up a stick and poked the door (thinking to himself "BITCHES LEAVE!!") only to reveal that it was not a trapdoor at all.... but a frakkin' HUGE trapdoor spider! *key battle music*
Battle was met by all. TIMMAH!! took the brunt with a few furious bites from the spider as it injected it's venom. TIMMAH!! sought revenge by unleashing the power of his Aftershock bow that not only left a gaping wound in the spider but "shocking" her babies' dead bodies off her back. The spider was quickly surrounded though and after hearing the horrid music coming from Gaelen's out-of-tune Lute, it fled the scene, leaving behind it a trail of blood from the gashed left by Soren, Helga, and crew.
Further inspection of the severed head and the surrounding area revealed human footprints leading north, which lead us to a sort of wagon trail. About a mile or so down the road, we came across the head's owner. Full of anticipation, Gaelen trotted forward to "check it out". His hate-monger senses tingled as he looked up just in time to see a band of wildmen emerge from the forest and delcare us lunch.
A furious battle ensued that saw the cleric at the forefront, dishing out holy love before falling to his knees near the end. More and more wildmen kept emerging East and West of the road. Being that time of the month, Helga unleashed the fury of her Period Rage and utterly destroyed the 2 wildmen leaders. And when I say destroy, I mean she shot blood all over them, ripped their arms off, masturbated with the bloody stumps, then pissed on their faces kind of destroy. After seeing the ass whipping their leaders took, the remaining archer wildmen raced away for easier prey. Gaelen gave Redbeard a nice, sensual massage (with happy ending) and Redbeard was feeling much better and back on his feet. TIMMAH!! was able to follow their tracks back to what appeared to be their camp, where he located some loose earth. After digging for a bit, we uncovered a wooden chest that held a couple of gems, a nice sized sack of gold, and Redbeard found a Cloak of the Walking Dead.
It was there that we stopped for the evening. So far (from memory since my notebook is at home) our loot total looks something like 157 gold, about 5 Silver, 5 Copper, and 2 gems. John took the module's first magic item with authority (congrats, John!). I think we did really well in our first big encounter too. John held off 2 of the tough wildmen leaders for a good while. Marie and Tom whipped some serious ass on them. Jason was a mook's nightmare while Gaelen was... well, the gay bard everyone expected him to be, lol. Can't wait till next week!!
01/14/10
We started the session midday in the Cannibal camp. We roughed up the place and then set off on the track of the fleeing archers. We followed their tracks for about an hour & a half when we came across a river and the remmenants of a dam. The tracks went over the river but we decided to head back to the main road and bridge in hopes that relief would be sent soon. When we returned, there was a steady flow of traffic of merchants. After about a couple of hours, we saw an Orc walking down the road with a big great axe over his shoulders. We blocked the road and asked his destination and business. He just pointed past us. That dashing and so, so sexy bard put on his magic spectales and wrote a message in orcish which he promptly snatched out of Gaelen's hands. His only response was "Home". So, being that he didn't whip our asses right there, we decided to let him past. As he walked past, he took Sorin to "a barb-e-que" and "slapped his meat on his grill" as he walked past via a nice (albeit low) shoulder push.
We camped for the night under the protection of a set of Eyes of Alarm. The night passed without any issues. The next day, I don't really remember, for some reason. I don't think much happened during the day. At night, close to dawn, our Eye of Alarm went off. We jumped up (some of us naked) to see a giant snake about to attack TIMMAH!! We lept into action only to draw the attention of a second giant "trouser" snake. We opperated like a pretty well-oiled machine and took down the snakes with minimal damage. We gutted them to see what they had been feasting on and luckily, it was just woodland animals and not travelers.
The next day, Argon and his horsemen arrived to releive us. We passed on most of the info on what happened (we left out the Orc that we left pass). Argon wanted us to show him where the skinned body was found so Gaelen used his horse cock to climb up and nestled behind Argon to show him while the rest of the party returned to town.
Upon returning to town, The Reaver was waiting at the gate (as always) and was pleased to hear the mighty tales that were told about the dispatching of 20 wild men! He declared that we would no longer have to pay for lodgings, which is pretty sweet. He also paid us the 100 gold as promised. About that time, Argon returned (after a "hard ride") with Gaelen. Gaelen dismounted and with a wink, Argon rode off. *Sigh*.
We went to go talk to Bolo, the dwarf. It seems he didn't really have a whole bunch of info but we did secure some sweet discounts on weapons/armor cause of our Rainbow Heights connections (Enter "Rainbow Connection" song). He told us to go talk to the big tittied chick at the Mug & Blade for some more info. We went and talked to her and she wasn't much more help but told us to come back later that evening when she would be able to talk more when she had help. She and Gaelen had a little "axe" battle but she slightly edged him out int he end. Next time, wench!!!
We returned that night and she took us upstairs and into a room. After locking the door, we saw that the Reaver and Bolo were also in the room. It appeared they had a secret society going on. They wanted to make sure that we were made of the right stuff before the divulged their ideas to us. Apparently, Sarek the thief, years ago, stole 3 heirlooms from the Baron's family. A Crown, a Sword, and a Sceptre. It was not long after these were stolen that the curse appeared on the family. Rumor has it that Sarek went into the wilds and to dwarven ruins and hid the items but never returned. They asked if we would venture out and reclaim these items. They provided us with all the provisions we could ever need and Colgate (kin to Aquafresh) to aid us in our travels (he was a gnome). The next day, we met up with Colgate, who made it very clear that we were going out "on patrol", so as not to alarm or draw any outside attention. On our travel to the hunter's road north, Colgate divulged that when he was at the statue of Sarek, he heard a whisper that said "3 Keys. 2 Lords. 1 Crown". Many conclusions can be drawn from this.
We got pretty close to the spires when we saw shapes in the distance. We leapt off the road to hid in the bushes but as they got closer, the Undead noticed this MASSIVE axe poking out behind this scraggly bush. The Undead were upon us!!!! A party of zombies were being lead by 2 grotesque zombies that threw parts of themselves at us. It was a hard fought and furrious battle that saw the Cleric unleashing his holy powers but taking some serious hits in return. In the end, we were able to bring them down and gain a breather from what was probably our toughest encounter yet.
To be continued...... *Dum dum DUM!!!*
01/21/10
So we picked up right after our battle with the undead patrol. Wequickly determined that they "were" Wild Men before something happenedto them and they ultimately became the living dead. After a quicksearch, a small handful of gold turned up (like 3 pieces or so). Wethen proceeded to dismember them and hide them in the bushes along the path in an attempt to hide our passing (and ensure they didn't rise again!).
We continued North and finally came to our destination... The Spires! Off to the far right, across the river and nesstled in the Spires, we saw what appeared to be a fortified dwarven village of sorts. The largest spire next to the village and next to a waterfall that feeds into the river, there was what appeared to be a giant cave mouth. There also was a set of stairs that lead up behind the Waterfall. On our side of the river (West) there was a path that lead up into a smaller cave mouth. Off in the distance we saw the shapes of giant
bats slowly circling before they decended into some hidden area behind some spires.
As we crossed the open arae to the base of the stairs to enter the small of the two caves, Redbeard spied a throne on the far bank. He explained to us that thrones like that usually seat a dwarf who questions all who pas son their business and that such thrones tend to have some sort of magical properties. We decided to leave it be for now.
We climbed the stairs and entered the cold, damp cave. Piles of leaved littered the floor. After listening, we heard a slight rustling behind the stone walls that lead to us discovering a spy hole of sorts, up neat the ceiling. Not wanting someone to get the jump on us, we climbed the stairs that exited the room. We came to a large 10' pit that has some gruesome spikes waiting for us at the bottom. TIMMAH!!!!, Sorin, & Gaelen jumped across with ease. Sadly, Redbeard and Helga have the aerial skills of a rock lobster and decended into the pit.... the hard way. As Sorin and TIMMAH!!! lowered a rope to assisst them out of the pit, Gaelen and Flutters moved up the stairs to keep a watch. No sooner had he moved 10-15' up the stairs did he look up to see a glowing blue Ogre wail and then come soaring down at them, apparently airborne. Self preservation got Gaelen to flatten himself on the floor. The Ogre flew overhead, bumped hard into TIMMAH!!!'s shoulder, and crashed into Sorin, sending him ass first into the pit. A quick glanced showed us that the "Ogre" indeed was a dummy on a pully. Looking at who sent him, we spied 3 goblins snikering and armed with crude javelins. Battle was upon us!!!
We moved up into the room after the goblins while Helga, Redbeard, and Sorin climbed out of the pit. In the end, the goblins were no match for our battle prowess as we dispatched them with ease. Even the final one who thought he could escape us was taken down in mid flight. We searched the room to find that part of this room looked down perfectly into the entrance room via the peep (Glory) hole.
We moved on. Gaelen moved ahead of the party as a scout and came across a room filled with goblins (probably about 10 or so). 2 goblins seemed to be going at it like 2 hamsters in a sock while the others watched. Another goblin was over by a cage, kicking the crap out of a little red lizard in a cage. After a failed attempt to start an brawl amoungst themselves, Gaelen left to relate tale. In a blind PETA rage, TIMMAH!!! went forward. Battle soon commenced! Again, we worked like a well oiled machine and totally bitch slapped this purple goblin and ass fucked all the others. TIMMAH!! took out the guy by the lizard cage which turned the emaciated lizard loose, who in turn, flamed 2 other goblins. After some careful coaxing and some iron rations, TIMMAH!!! earned the respect of the lizard and a new companion.... who has better stats than the rest of us, lol...
From this room, there were 2 exits. A stairs up and a hallway which lead to a well that smelled sickly sweet with death. After much coaxing, the party decided to toss a dead goblin body on a grappling hook and lower it into the water, after we saw something rippling the water's surface. Gaelen peered over the edge and dropped a Sun Rod down into the water to illuminate. After some jigging, Redbeard was able to coax what appeared to be an undead Bullywug that crept out from some unseen cave under the well water and it ripped it's prize from our hook and took off.
After that, we decided that it would be best to go up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, we came to a chute that lead up. Flutters flew up to investigate and said that it came to a dead end at a wooden top. So, we decided to climb up the rungs. Redbeard wasn't 5' from the top, when the lid opened. 2 frakkin a-hole goblins (may their entire line be cursed with a scorching case of gonorreha) peered down, laughed, and dumped an assload of hot cinders on us. Redbeard, TIMMAH!!!, and Gaelen took the brunt of the ash attack and were set on fire. We hadn't moved a couple of rungs up before the second salvo came crashing down. This prooved too much for Gaelen who passed out from the massive burns. He fell off the ladder, still blazing, and landed horribly wrong. The rest of the party pressed on up into the room and quickly dispatched the goblins. TIMMAH!!! went down to the bottom of the ladder with Redbeard to check on the status of Gaelen. Killed on contact. Redbeard cast a ritual over the body of the fallen bard while TIMMAH!!! looted the corpse of anything of value.
They proceeded back up the stairs and entered a room that overlooked what appeared to be a landing area. They crept back into the room, intent to rest there. Sadly, that was not to be as bats and riders eventually landed on the platform and started to make their way to the entrance to their cave. Our heroes rushed to the mouth of the cave and fought them off. But as more started to appear, the clock ticked and thus the session ended...
To be continued.....
We will be having a benefit concert this weekend in memory of Gaelen Sandpiper, Bard of Myth, Seducer of Legend, and derrier extrodinaire! May he rest in the heaven of Queen!
02/28/10
We began the evening in the cave at the top of the shaft where poor Gaelen has perished. Bereaved with grief, Redbeard stayed behind with the body of Gaelen, sobbing uncontrollably.
The bat riding goblins fled from the room, across a small network of rope bridges, and back to the other bat riders who were landing on a far platform. The party took up positions inside the room in hopes of bottlenecking them. They did not have to wait long as 2 goblins with grisly swords and about 4-5 goblin archers decended upon the room. They decided to keep to the outside and so fired volley after volley into the room. After some small arms exchange, Helga the Barbarian got fed up and rushed them. She plowed into the archers & found out the hard way why they were hanging around outside. Above the cave entrance, 2 bats with riders were waiting while this fat goblin strode up, arms crossed, observing. Rushing in to provide an assist, Sorin raced to Helga's side, hammer in tow. Colgate and TIMMAH!!! slowly edged their way closer to the exit while keeping the 2 lizards back by the shaft entrance.
Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the shaft..... In his grief of lost love, Redbeard fumbled with Gaelen's charred belt and pants and slowly worked them down around him ankles. He then proceeded to give Gaelen one last send off and began to suck start his leaf blower. Being too preoccupied with Gaelen's "cold cock" in his mouth, he didn't notice the Bugbear sneaking up behind him to "cold cock" him. Redbeard fell to the ground, unconcious and with a charred dick in his mouth.
At the top of the shaft, the Bugbear poked his head through the trap door and was instantly jumped upon by the 2 lizards. TIMMAH!!! and Colgate rushed back to provide support while Helga and Sorin finished off the last of the archers and started to make short work of the now hulking out goblin leader (When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside......). Helga was speared by a batrider and a vicious tug-of- war ensued as each tried to pull the other over the edge. In a twist of fate, the bat rider lost his balance in his saddle and Helga took advantage to pull him over the edge. Luckily, she dislodged the barb before the goblin could take her with him. She then turned to the goblin leader, apparently having enough of his BS, ran her tongue down the edge of her axe, and proceeded to carve him into about 4 different pieces. Sorin stood shocked as he was sprayed with blood and gore. Seeing the bloody mess, the remaining bat rider took to the skies.
Back in the cave room, TIMMAH!!!, Colgate, and the lizards were able to finish off the Bugbear despite some grevious wounds received at the hands of the fuzzy beast! After combat, Colgate and Sorin went down the shaft to retrieve the molesting body of Redbeard (sans burnt cock) and brought him upstairs into the main cave where camp was being planned. Helga & TIMMAH!!! went across to the far platform after spying what looked like a body. Upon unting the little man, TIMMAH!! was informed that his name was Cynder and he was sent from the Rainbow Heights connection to ensure that he had made contact with Bolo and co. at the town. Just outside of the town, Cynder was ambushed by the bat riders and taken prisoner. The party then retreated back into the cave to camp while TIMMAH!!! laid claim to the goblin leader's +1 short sword. Sometime during the night, Helga heard the sound of bat wings but nothing more.
The following day, the party made their way across the bridge network and came to a fork in the bridges. Cynder sent Cataract, his Eye familiar, to scout ahead. The left bend saw the bridge end in another cave entrace while the right path lead to a cave with a large statue inside. We decided to explore the statue first. Upon entering the cave, we were surprised with an enormous statue to Sodutym (spelling?) which is 1 of the 7 dark dwarven gods. At his feet were 2 naked & cut up humans. We spied 2 giant jewels for eyes in the statue and after some debate, Colgate shimmied on up and pried one loose. He tossed it down (sending TIMMAH!!!! running for the entrance) and Cynder caught it. As soon as the jewel touched his hands, it exploded into a swarm of bats. Once those rats with wings were fought off, Colgate pried the other loose and inspected it. Content that there was nothing wrong with it, he put it in his bag and hopped down. Once he walked about 10' from the statue, his bag errupted with another swarm of bats. That was the last straw. Cynder targeted the statue's ankles (per Sorin's fine dwarven targeting) and threw a force orb, causing the statue to fall. Hidden behind the statue was an alcove filled with treats! Sorin left with a new suit of +1 dwarven plate, Helga donned a set of Mighty Blow Bracers, and a flameburst axe was held to the side for Redbeard (once he awoke from his dreams of gnome-ish love). Add to that a couple of invisibility potions and some gold.
The party then proceeded down the remaining path and entered a room with 2 branches. Cataract informed us that the south path was filled with "half-deads" while the west held a room with a big machine. We went in to inspect the "half-deads" and found a bunch of emaciated humans and half-elves chained to the walls, all unconcious. Upon further inspection, they all had bite marks on their necks. TIMMAH!! immediately decided that they must and so began to cut their heads off. During this, the party noticed that Colgate also bore bit marks on his neck. TIMMAH!!!, out of love for his new found bedroll mate, couldn't believe it but was able to halt Cynder from Force Orbing his ass to oblivion. After probing the bite marks with his tongue, it was realised that they were illusions. Color drained out of TIMMAH!!'s face as he realised that he may have just killed a bunch of innocents. But he was flooded with relief to realise that the bite marks on the humans were indeed real.
We proceeded down the hallway which ended in a semi-large room. The room was littered with treasure and at the back, upon a large throne, sat a lounging goblin who seemed quite surprised to see us. He stepped down off his throne, exclaiming that if "she wants the key" we'll have to take it from him. *Cue the battle music*
This battle was rough! Seeing Sorin in the Bat-Man armor, the goblin (showing his true vampire teeth) engaged him with a mocking attitude. Combat swirrled around the room as Sorin & Helga sought to find openings but barely missing, Colgate jumping in and out looking for flank jabs, TIMMAH!!! shooting arrows into melee whenever he could, and Cynder summoning a giant ball of fire to roll around and burn the vamp. Blood soaked the floor as Helga and Sorin beared the brunt of the damage. Cyder ran between the two in attempts to stem the flow of blood. TIMMAH!!! continued to fire volley after volley into the vampire while the ball of fire burned away the flesh of the vampire as quickly as it re-knitted it'self. After being ultimately infuriated with the slew of insults being tossed his way, Sorin raised his mighty hammer and let it fly, crushing the vampiric goblin's skull onto the floor in a sickening crunch. That son-of-a-bitch won't be bothering us anymore!
Inside the room, we found casks of wine, crates of salt, some gold and jewels, a variety of mundane weapons and suits of armor, and a small iron key decorated with a ruby that was on a chain around the goblin's neck.
The evening ended there as it was getting quite late!!! Great session everyone! A lot of magic items found and it seems like we took out one bad arse boss. I'm interested in what the key we found goes to and who "she" is that he referred to. And I will take the time now to voice that I don't trust Colgate that much anymore. Something just isn't right about that guy.
03/14/10
So we pick up after our wonderous adventurers had just sent the vampiric goblin packing. Worn and beaten up, we decided to make camp in the throne room as it only had one entrance that seemed easily defensible. We set up watches and begane the camp. During that time, Cynder stayed up to study a ritual out of the famous (and sadly, deceased) Bard Gaelan's ritual book so that in future encampments, we could employ the Eye of Alarm for further protection. After a few watches, Sorin heard the flap of bat wings and spied some pebbles falling from above the cave entrances. He awoke the party in alarm. After sending out Cataract to scout, he returned, seeing nothing. It was then that TIMMAH!!!! noticed that Colgate never got up. After a quick look, it was plain to see that he was stone dead. Not wasting any time, TIMMAH!!! chopped his head off, believing him to be of the Undead. After further investigation (post decapitation), it was found that he was strangled. No one saw anything enter or leave and the only thing in the room other then us were a few bats hanging from the ceiling. Sorin came to the conclusion that it was probably a curse carried with him by prying out the gemstone eyes of the one deep Dwarf god from earlier..... So in true party fashion, we looted his body, set it on fire, and pushed it over the edge.
We set out the next day back through the goblin's domain and back to the Middle River. Redbeard could not bear to leave the body of his beloved Gaelan and so we were forced to leave him behind with the best of wishes. We had to travel about 1 1/2 hours back down stream until we found an area that was a bit safer to cross. Once we hiked back up, we decided to invetisgate the dwarven throne a bit. Those with magical backrounds and the Dwarfs all sensed a strong magical aura about the chair. Helga decided to take a seat and instantly determined that the chair would cure entirely, one humanoid once a day, detect alignment 3 times a day, and ressurect the dead once a month (if we had only known!!!).
After some quick deliberation, we decided we would climb the stairs and hit up the dwarven town last. As we neared the top of the stairs, a booming voice echoed out, asking who would dare trespass on these dwarven lands. Dwarfs was replied in dwarven by Sorin which spurred a spear in the side to Helga via a murder hold in the side of the mountain. Just then, 2 Bugbears appeared at the top of the stairs.
Helga & Sorin moved to close the gap pretty quick, looking to dispatch these defilers from their lands. TIMMAH!!! sent his reptilian companions into the fray, breathing fire and snapping derriers here and there. The Bugbears moved to surround Helga and Sorin. Just then, a 3rd Bugbear arrived toting a spear. No doubt, he was the one maning the murder hole. Cataract moved into position to act as an arc node for Cynder but just then, a piece of dirt flew into his massive and gigantic eye and he accidentally shot Helga with a frost bolt. Acting on that, the Bugbears clobbered her to the ground. Sorin was none to soon to follow. Cynder quickly went to the aid of Helga while TIMMAH!!! fired volley after volley of deadly arrows into the Bugbears. Helga got to her shaky feet for a bit but was dropped again after a few scrums. Cynder burnt the mind of one Bugbear, sliding his crumpled form across the gound while TIMMAH!!! shot an arrow through the eye sockets of the other two, killing them instantly. Cynder and TIMMAH!!!! quickly went to the aid of their comrades and soon had them on their feet and ready for some more action.
At the top of the stairs, we found the Bugbear's hideout in a room off to the side. A hallway branched down which lead to the murderhole. Moving on up the stairs, we came to a grand set of stairs that lead to a set of huge double doors made of iron and inscribed with a variety of dwarven runes and pictures. We inserted an iron key we found on the Bugbears and the doors swung easily inward.
Inside, there were 6 odd columns that were basically 6 distinct dwarf statues with the columns continuing up out of their heads. In the center was a black granite altar thing that had 3 keyholes, each decorated with a gem (Ruby, Saphire, & Emerald). This, no doubt, is what the ruby key is used for that we got off the vampiric goblin.
As the party searched the room, Cynder put on his magic spectacles and read the runes above each dwarf. Each rune was a dwarven clan with a symbol above, varrying from a coin to a hammer to even a thunderbolt. On the last statue, Cynder spied a ring on the statue's finger. Taking the bull by the horns, he slowly removed it to investigate. Luckily, nothing happened. The ring turned out to be a Ring of *Insert DM's neat words* that adds +1 to AC. This was promptly given to Helga to further strengthen our front line.
We moved cautiously down the only hallway from the main room to a sturdy dwarven built elevator. We decended down the "shaft". At the bottom, we sent Cataract down the hallway while we investigated the other hallway which appeared to be a small deadend. We discovered a one-way secret door. Cataract returned to tell us that there was a room down the hall and that there were a bunch of guys in there. So, we decided to go through the secret door in hopes of flanking them. We slowly opened the door. Just then, Cataract emitted a shriek and flew into the wall. As he started to swell, Helga showed a sheepish look as she cracked her knuckles. I guess payback's a bitch!
We propped the door open as it was rigged such a way that we would not be able to open it from the other side. Inside lead us to a cobweb infested hallway, littered with the bones of about 4-5 dwarfs. TIMMAH!!! moved in to investigate the bodies and just then, they stirred!!! The dwarven skeletons shambled to their feet, moved into formation, and began the march on us!!!!
And that is where we left off. Dum dum DUMMMMMMM!!!!
04/11/10
We rejoin our illustrious adventurers as they struggle to come to grips with the band of Undead that have risen before them. The crowded hallway was barely wide enough for 2 people to stand side by side. Before us was one gruesome looking skeleton with blades grafted into his arms. He was backed up by about 4 or so other skeletons warriors. Soren and Helga took the brunt of the assault as the undead force rushed to engage. Soren exchanged blows with the boss skeleton but was ending up on the short end of the stick. Cataract flew behind the enemy lines and belched forth a Flaming Sphere to cause confusion and damage behind their lines. It was about that time when a loud *CRACK* echoed through the hallway followed by the smell of singed fur. From around the corner came a gnome riding atop a most fearsome looking minotaur! They rushed head long into the read guard of skeletons. This was followed by a questionable move made by TIMMAH!!! who took careful aim and "split the cheeks" and shot Soren in the ass.... twice! This resulted in Soren screaming at the rectal breach and falling to the floor, unconcious. Upon seeing his for dropped and then watching his skeletal guard get smashed to bits by Helga, the boss skeleton moved to engage Helga to return the favor. Those two exchanged a miriade of mighty blows which ultimately saw Helga drop to her knees.
Attemping to make ammends for the ass shot, TIMMAH!!! pulled out his best Tom Cruise impersonation and "cocktailed" a couple of healing potions into Soren and Helga's mouths. Meanwhile, the combined force of Mini-taur, his gnome rider, and the flaming testicle were tearing apart the other skeletons. In the end, it was the gnome rogue who darted in and severed the spine of the boss skeleton before he knew what was going on.
After a few introductions, it was learned that Mini-taur and the gnome were exploring the Temple of Elemental Evil and somehow got warped here. Needs a rest badly, the party retreated back to the elevator and went up to the dwarven hall above to camp. The following day, we descended once again and continued down the hallway past the skeletal encounter. There, we found a small stream feeding through a cave in. Following this down an L hallway, we came to another elevator shaft. The elevator cage though, was stuck about 15 feet down. Try as he might, Cataract could not slam into the crank hard enough to send it up. We decided to explore the voiced Cataract heard the previous day, down the other hallway.
The newly aquired Rogue listened at a door we found and heard what sounded like battle. After some deliberation, we decided to give TIMMAH!!! another go and let him stealth his way into the room. There, he saw was appeared to be about 6 men, sparring. They wore mis-matched armor and weapons. In yet another questionable move, TIMMAH!!! argued that we should "parlay" with the men. So, we sent the new face of the party (the rogue) in to negotiate. After calling them faggots by mistake, he made a hasty retreat back into the main room where the rest of the party was poised to strike. The lead man poked his head out, saw us, then slammed the door shut. TIMMAH!!! tried to talk through the door but to no avail so we opened the door. Cynder sent in Cataract in a shower of sparks to scope out the room and get placement of the humans. Getting tired of TIMMAH!! stall tactics, Helga raced on into the room. There arrayed against us, was 6 humans but in addition were now a Drow woman and what appeared to be her Orcish bodyguard (or lover?). The Conan music kicked in and then we were treated to a "To be continued...." message.
Is TIMMAH! really on our side? Is he in league with the inhabitants of the spires? Is he really as straight as he claims? And did the doctor REALLY tell him that his rash would clear up in a couple of days? Only time will tell!!!
05/31/10
We began the session to the smell of smoke sifting down the hallway from where the Drow bitch had fled. We went down the hallway (leaving 'Lil Green and Cataract to watch the other hallway) and tested the door and knob to see if there was a fire on the other side. The door and knob were cool so Dio opened the door to see the Drow slut setting fire to various bookshelves. She took one look at Dio and fired her hand-crossbow at him. We flooded the room, some of us trying to put out the fire on the shelves, while the others surrounded her. Seeing how she was hopelessly outnumbered, she dropped her torch and weapons to give up.
She was tied to a chair (quite roughly by Helga) and we started the intimidation. She refused to speak in any language that we could understand so with a little persuasion (and Cynder starting to take off his pants), she began to talk. TIMMAH!!! bargained that with enough information, we would let her go. It was found out that Lady Aboner had hired her to train a bunch of mercenaries to invade the town and kill off the elders, thus removing any opposition to her taking control once her brother passed. We also found various sales receipts of arms and armor from Lady Aboner as well as a writ that let the bearer stop anyone in the Wilds and/or Wildsgate for interegation and/or taxation. We also found the 2nd of 3 keys needed to unlock whatever it is in the dwarven room. The Drow also told us that they had strong reason to believe that the Cannibals held the 3rd key. Once we drained her of all the information we could, we threw a hood over her head and escorted her out of the dungeon.
Once out at the foothills of the Spires, we removed the hood and set her free. She quickly disappeared into the woods. After that, MOST of the party decided not to go to town and to press on to the Cannibal camp. As we got closer to the camp, we started to see these little voodoo doll looking things hanging from the trees. Cynder felt a magical pull towards an area which resulted in us finding 3 voodoo dolls made to look just like Helga, TIMMAH!!!, and Sorin. When they saw the dolls, a dark cloud seemed to fall over them, carrying a deep depression.
After some deliberation, they decided they wanted to leave their dolls hanging in the trees and we moved on to scout out the walled dwarven city to where the cannibals had taken up residence. During the scouting, TIMMAH!!! got hit with a spiked branch trap and Helga fell into a spiked pit trap. Those dastardly cannibals!!! During the scouting, we came across a clearing that had a variety of mounds in it. After checking deeply into the Arcane, Cynder felt a neutral magical source coming from the single grand looking mound (if a circle of rocks around the mound would equate to "grand"). Sorin and Cynder with Helga not too far behing, crept up to the mound, only to be surprised when 2 ghoulish looking things popped out of the mounds to either side of the special mound!
These suckers were mad fast and would imobilize us when we got hit. Luckily, we were able to shake off the effects pretty soundly and eventually took them down. In doing so, though, we found that Helga, Sorin, and TIMMAH!!! weren't swinging with their full potential and when they tended to their wounds, it had no effect. The only healing that would stick was the magical effects of Sorin's armor, which struggled to bypass whatever was cursing them, as it was. With the ghouls taken care of, Cynder dug into the special mound to find a corpse holding a special looking longsword (+2 Resounding). Once he picked it up, the sword said "Thank You". The sword, named Proto,seemed very happy to be free of the mound. We gave the sword to Sorin (since he was one of the few of us who could actually use the blade) and Proto was happy to be in the hands of someone who could actually use him. Hopefully, it'll be able to help Sorin in future endevours in the surrounding areas and maybe even act as an extra set of eyes.
With that done, the session came to an end. I am of a mind to say that we go get the dolls out of the trees and head back to town. Hopefully, there will be someone in town (the priest maybe) who can dismantle these dolls without hurting Sorin/Helga/TIMMAH!!! and get you all back on track as far as natural healing. I don't think it's a good idea to press on into the Cannibal camp the way we are.
06/06/10
We found our heroes in the clearing of the "mounds", on the outskirts of the Cannibal camp. Licking our wounds, we moved a bit further away from the camp in order to take an extended rest to see if that would help with the healing of our cursed allies. Sadly, it did not. With that determined, we trekked back to the "Tree of Woe". Dio scurried up the tree with the skill of a trained squirrel and cut down the dolls. Cynder then took TIMMAH!!!!'s doll and gently poked the leg with his dagger.... and worked it around to find that TIMMAH!!!! felt the pain and took damage. It was then decided that we could not leave these dolls just hanging in this tree. They were distributed between Cynder and Dio and we began the trek back to town in order to re-supply and talk to Fatha Madda to see if he could find a way to get rid of the curse. As we crested the hill sbeyond the forest of the dolls, the dark feeling that was plaguing our cursed comrades seemed to lift. It seems the curse is tied to that area.
We traveled on through the night and arrived in the morning, tired and weary. We were greeted by the Reave at the gates and asked about our travels and if we had found anything. Feigning ignorance, we told him of some of our deeds but made sure to leave the issue with the Drow out completely. We also had to explain about the new additions to the party and the parting of ways of other members. Cynder attempted to be discreet and part ways to find a courrier only to have TIMMAH!!!'s paranoia perked and he was grilled with questions. It was then found out that it was Cynder who had dispatched of Colgate due to Cynder being originally dispatched from Rainbow Heights to terminate Colgate because Colgate had taken a variety of things that did not belong to him from people of high repute in RH. He now needed to send Colgate's head back as proof of job completion and to continue with the rest of his orders in assisting the party in completing their job for Bolo and the town. TIMMAH!!! was still quite distrusting and requested that the dolls be placed in the possession of Dio soley (while muttering something about an "airlock" and "cylon"...). Luckily, Sorrin showed some sense and agreed that aftering hearing of Colgate's deeds, Cynder was to be trusted. TIMMAH!!! began to rest easy as well once he realised that it was not he who had taken Colgate out but Cynder. His conscious could rest easier now.
After that, we made our way to Fatha Madda's church in hopes that he would know of a way to disable the voodoo dolls and cure our cursed party mates. upon meeting with him, he was distraught to find out that his cleric friend had fallen. He was gracious of the donation to the church in exchange for his services in researching the dolls. He also was able to sell us some much needed healing potions. After that, he bid us good day and told us to visit him on the morrow and he should have some information for us.
The Reave caught up with us as we were leaving the church and requested our audience once we were finished re-supplying. He wanted an update on our investigation. We moved on to the curiosity shop to take a look at the wares and possible engage in some bartering. We ended up trading our Flameburt +1 Axe for some Bracers which we gave to Dio to help with his damage output. He had some other interesting items but nothing worth the cost at the given moment.
We went to the Bug & Blade to meet the Reave and Co.. We briefly discussed out goings on and slightly questioned his motives on the relics we were searching for. He requested that we bring them straight to him and to give him a slight nod when we return with them as so to keep their presence in town a secret. He apparently backs the Elder's view that Lady Aboner is not fit to lead the town as they believe her to be quite ignorant of most of the goings on in town and would ruin the trade. We agreed to deliver the items to him to pacify him but our doubts in his credibility were there.
We rested up at the inn then left bright and eaerly the following day on some new ponies provided to us by the Reave to ease our travels. We traveled to visit Fatha Madda before we left to see if had gleamed any information in his studies but all he could tell us is that the dolls were "evil" *shock* and that it seems the only way to rid ourselves of it is to kill the creator shaman. With that knowledge (which was so not worth the 25gp gem we gave him), we parted ways and left to return to the spires.
We reached the forest of the dolls and once again, the pall of dread fell on the cursed. We moved to be close to the wall near the stables and waited until nightfall. Once the sun set, TIMMAH!!! scaled the wall and lowered ropes on either side to ease the travels of those behind him and he moved into the village to scout. Miraculously was able to calm the wild horses in the pen and move to the stone wall near the mausoleum. He was able to count 4 zombies shuffling around the top on guard duty. After a few minutes, he screeched like a barn owl (which sounded much like a hoot owl), and the rest of us downed invisibility potions and joined him at the base of the wall. Dio scouted ahead and poked his head inside the door of the stone building. He spied 5 warriors at a wooden dwarven table, eating various body parts and celebrating loudly. Around them, stood about 8 zombie servants holding platters of various parts. We all snuck in save TIMMAH!!! and took up positions around the room. Meanwhile, TIMMAH!!! moved and open the gate to the horse pen. He then proceeded to smack the hind parts of the horses to set them stampeding through the village. With the village distracted, he snuck into the buliding and barred the door. The slight loss of light drew the attention of one of the warriors and thats when we struck! We each leapt upon the warriors like savage dogs and cut half of them down before they even knew what was happening. The zombie servants moved to assist their assailed masters but they too, proved to be no match for our skill. TIMMAH!!! was forced to drink a couple of healing potions though to offset the loss of natural healing after taking a couple of brutal blows. We stopped to catch our breath and noticed that the hallway at the back of the bulding was lined with a path of crushed bone.... Dum dum DUMMMMM
And that is where we left it.... Tune in next week!!
06/27/10
We find our party trapped inside the stone dwarven building, deep
inside the cannibal's village. After a cursory search via Cataract, it
was determined that there was no other way out except the front door.
Cynder and TIMMAH!!! listened at the door and it seemed as if the
village was still chasing after the horses that were let loose not 20
minutes earlier. Sorin hefted Dio's body over his shoulder and we
threw open the doors. The party ran as fast as their little feet could
carry them, artfully dodging the swipes and groping hands of the
undead guards as we ran past them. Like greased lightning, we flew up
the ropes, down the other side, mounted our ponies, and took off
towards the dwarven chair.
Once at the chair, Sorrin seated himself upon it and activated it's
deep, magical power to raise Dio from the dead. With our rogue back
amoung the living, there was much rejoicing! A few rituals later saw a
nice hidden camp created, guarded by our Eyes of Alarm. The party
would rest well this night. Throughout the night though, torchlight
was seen off in the distance as the cannibals made futile attempts to
search out who killed their shaman. Did we in fact kill him or just
delay the inevitable? Only time will tell.
Not wanting to waste anymore time, we broke camp for the Dwarven hall
in the morning. We approached the stone pedistal and inserted the 3
jewel keys. A grinding sound echoed through the hall and the pedistal
began to lower. Cataract was sent down to investigate and all seemed
clear. Ropes were lowered and we descended into the darkness. We
walked down a few hallways and under, what we could only assume to be,
the waterfall. As we entered one hallway, the door behind us shut and
the hallway began to fill with water. We raced to the door at the
other end and just before the water rose above our heads, Dio
magically unlocked the door. That gnome has some fast fingers!!!
Once the door was opened, we (and all the water) rushed into a Z
shaped hallway and ping ponged against a couple of walls before the
water ran down a drain located in the middle of the hall. Before us
stood a most peculiar door. This door was decorated with 6 runes that
no doubt were dedicated to the 6 dwarven clans from the room above. 4
key holes were found at each of the corners of the door. No amount of
command words and/or pushing would activate the door. While TIMMAH!!!
& Cynder worked on the door, Dio found a secret passage off to the
side that lead to a hallway with stairs leading down. These reached a
small landing, turned, and continued down further. About halfway down
the second flight of stairs, the stairs tilted and formed a smooth
slope. We slide down the rest of the way into an opening pit.
Those of us who were not athetically inclined, hit the bottom and hit
the bottom hard. The ground began to writhe and it was kind of
squishy. Once Cataract (who had Light cast on him) caught up, we saw
what it was we landed on.... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROT GRUBS!!!! In out-of-
game terms, this was the best initiative we al rolled. Everyone (save
Marie) scored a 20+. TIMMAH!!! threw up a grappling hook to 'Lil Green
(the only member of the party not to fall over the edge) and it took
off to try and secure it. Meanwhile, the grubs began crawling and
burrowing into our skin. Helga and Cynder appeared to be made of
sweeter meats as the grubs feasted on them. Wracked with pain, Cynder
attempted to shoot a magic missile into the grubs but hit TIMMAH!!! by
accident. TIMMAH!!! was the first up the rope, followed quickly by
Sorin. Seeing Cynder at death's door, Dio thought fast and tied a rope
to Cynder's waist before ascending the rope himself. Helga was the
last up the rope as she was dumped into pitch darkness when Cynder
fell to the grubs in his skin. At the top of the pit, TIMMAH!!! pulled
out a sunrod and was able to catch Helga just as she gave in to the
grubs as well. Cynder's body was hauled up and both were stabilized.
Meanwhile, Dio slowley moved back up the slope and discovered the
trigger flagstone and set the stairs right again. Helga and Cynder
were hauled back to the room with the dwarven door and they were
tended to overnight. Helga recovered fully as TIMMAH!!! was meticulous
at picking out all the Rot Grubs. Apparently, Sorrin isn't the most
perceptive as Cynder recovered to a degree but still suffered from
some grubs. We continued to work on the door and even sent Helga and
Sorrin back up to look at the dwarven statues in the rom above. The
secret hallway though nagged at the minds of TIMMAH!!! and Cynder.
After another look by Dio, a second secret door was found!
This room was a treasure hunter's dream!! 2 huge coffers were found,
loaded with coin. At the base was a description in Dwarven "To 2 Loyal
Sons, 2 Royal Sums". Another Dio search discovered a loose flagstone
which lead to another 5' passage. Helga and Dio went down and entered
a small store room of sorts. Only thing of interest in the room were 2
rotting sacks in the corner. A search of these sacks yielded 17 odd
coins and what we could only imagine could be the 3 treasures we were
looking for! Cynder studied them quickly and determined that the
sceptre was a sceptre of enemy detection and the sword was a +2
thundering longsword. The crown though had no magical properties.
We began to make out way out of the dwarven lair but Cynder was warry
of leaving all that gold behind. Sorrin goaded him to take some yet
TIMMAH!!! fled in fear of a trap. Erroring on the side of caution,
Cynder made sure all were safely upstairs and out of harm's way before
he began casting his rituals. Unseen Servant was sent with a sack to
obtain as much gold as his sack could carry. He returned unharmed with
a sack of 200 gold. Since nothing happened, he was sent back with
Tenser's Floating Disc to obtain more. Oddly, he returned empty
handed. Cataract was sent in to investigate and he reported that the
gold was now all shiney and "wet". Not wanting to prode the hornet's
nest anymore, Cynder grabbed the sack and made his way out.
In a jealouse rage that there was no trap, TIMMAH!!! pulled the ropes
up and refused to let Cynder out of the hole with the gold
(apparently, if TIMMAH!!! can't have it, no one will!!). So, Cynder
removed the 3 keys from the pedistal and rode it up through the hole.
TIMMAH!! then proceeded to bar the door and refused to let anyone out
until the gold was left behind. The rest of the party then decides
after the fact that maybe the gold should be left behind. So, 200 gold
was just left at the bottom of the hole. As payment for the loss of
ritual components, Cynder decided to retain possession of the 3
jeweled keys and the party left the dwarven halls for town.
That is where we left it. Lord knows what will happen once we get back
to town. Who do we give the treasures to? Do we really give them to
anyone? Should we try to get them directly to the Baron ourselves?
Tune in next week!
07/18/10
So we find our hard up heroes in town, waiting for Red to send some of
his miners and gear back so we can all go back to the dwarven mountain
and dig out the cave in's. While we waited, we decided to stock up on
healing potions. Thank the good lord that Fadda Madda was well
supplied!
After a few days, a dwarf named Litko "Load"smiter showed up with his
saucey wife (who appeared to have a thing for Tom) and a group of
about 20 miners (one of which was Helga's ex). TIMMAH!! & Cynder could
already see the wheels of this soap opera starting to turn.
After pleasantries were exchanged, we parted ways to bed for the night
to leave bright and early the next day. During the night, Dio came
down with explosive diarreha and his gonorrhea started to flare up.
The next day, Dio was loaded onto the back of 1 of the 4 carriages we
were escorting and off we went!
A little after noon that day, we came to a clearing that was "clearly"
an ambush (cause the DM drew the map, lol). Apparently we caught this
poor joe jerkin' it in the bushes because out of them came one pissed
off Giant. That's right kids! A fucking GIANT!!! Sorin and Helga moved
to engage, dishing out INSANE amounts of damage but receiving just the
same in return. TIMMAH!!! moved around the carts to pepper the Giant
with his arrows. The dwarves did the same with their crossbows. Cynder
attempted to join into the fray but something was in his eye so his
targeting was a bit off.....
Shortly after the giant fell to the might of our party, a second
"wanker" came out of the bushes behind us, apparently after he
finished shooting his load, he got hungry. He smashed one of our
horses. The fucker! Sorrin and TIMMAH!!! moved to engage with Sorin
getting KO'd (but subsequently picked up via a healing potion by
Cynder) and Helga moving into position. Once engaged, the Giant felt
the full wrath of Cynder by taking an Acid Arrow crit followed (like 4
turns later after multiple misses!) a patented Magic Missle to the Eye
technique. Now things get wonky. This giant apparently went down on
the DM prior ro this evening's events because he then walked around a
few dudes to Cynder (who was like a few spaced behind the defensive
wall of meat), not provoking ANY attacks of opportunities, to wail on
Cynder! "What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What
arrogance!!"
After that, we tossed Sorrin's body up into the cart (after he
suffered his second KO) and continued on to the throne to camp. During
the night, the saucey wench of The Load's, came up to spend some
quality time with Sorrin. The next day, we went up into the dwarven
hold and down the hole. Cynder descended first and, thanks to the help
of TIMMAH!!! and Sorrin to distract the dwarves, recovered the 200gp
bag left behind during the last visit. We showed the dwarves the path
and some of the traps we discovered. The door with the 4 keyholes was
determined to be a false door. We then moved into the room with the 2
chests. Most of us backed out as The Load and his saucey woman went to
retrieve the gold from the chests. From the hallway, we heard a
scream. Sorrin walked in and said "... You all need to get out of
here...". Up on the dias, The Load's arm was covered in slime as he
was slowly being sucked into a gelatinous cube that was laying in
wait.
The party eventually sauntered in to take care of the jelly beast.
Sorrin told Cynder to drop the Flaiming Ball of Firey Doom and almost
completely lost it when he heard that it had been replaced by Acid
Arrow (only for that day, mind you). Best reaction of the night!
Between Sorrin and Helga, the cube was beaten into submission, spread
on some bread with peanutbutter, and served for lunch.
With that out of the way, we mvoed back into the room with the false
door. Cynder performed a ritual to ward the room with Silence and we
rested comfortably from the noise of the miner's working.
And that is where the screen fades to black....
07/25/10
Our heroes awoke to find that the dwarves have created a nice little
tunnel through the cave-in for us. It was just big enough for us to
fit through. Ligo said that he and his dwarves would stay back to
continue to work on the cave-in to remove all the rubble and stabilize
the corridor. When asked by TIMMAH!!!, he exclaimed that this cave-in
was fairly recent (as in the past couple of years) and seemed pretty
amateur.
We moved down the hallway on the other side and entered a large room.
In this room, we saw some booted footprints in the dust that seemed
about 6 months old. DUM DUM DUMMMMM!!!!! When we crossed the room, we
noticed a faint purple glow coming from a room just down the branching
hall. Dio crept up and peered in to see a fairly large room with an
archway to the left. The far wall was glowing bright purple and the
walls were lined with dwarven skeletons. By the purple wall also stood
3 troll sized skeletons, one with a nasty looking magical sword.
After a few experiments, it was determined that the skeletons would
march on anyone who crossed the threshhold but once back on the
entrance side, they would return to their slots in the walls. In an
action very Cynder-like (one of a few he would make this evening),
TIMMAH!! shot a skeleton in the face with an arrow. That did not bode
well with the skeletons as they took serious offense to this and
marched on us! *que Conan Music*
To put it simple, there was a shit storm of skeletons. Thank the good
lord they were all minions (except the troll ones of course) otherwise
it would of been one hell of a beat down. Sorrin rushed up like a
hungry Rhino and entered the fray to create the battle line. Helga
moved up to support. The rest of us stayed behind the line. Throughout
the course of the battle, Helga took a serious pounding. She dished
out some heavy doses of damage in return though. TIMMAH!!! laid down
some serious hurting on the troll skeletons while Sorrin swung Proto
into the trolls as well. Cynder was on minion duty and Dio came in and
drank everyones milkshake, finishing off 2 of the 3 troll skeletons
with one blow.
Helga fell after taking an insane amount of damage and the party moved
in to take down the foul beast that fell her. Dio was able to
stabilize her as she almost bled out. A healing potion later and she
was back on her feet. As the last skeleton fell, the purple wall
started to blink madly like some kind of goblin disco and as the
skeleton fell to the floor, it looked at us with it's eye-less eyes
and said "I know your herrree.... aagghhh *gargle gargle*" and died.
We took a moment to collect ourselves (and the loot which resulted in
a nice +2 Vicious Longsword) and moved on into the next room.
This room was huge. It had 4 stone coffins on either side with 1
larger one dominating the center. On the far wall were 3 statues, 2
sets of stone staircases leading down were on the right wall, a door
in the far left corner, and to the immediate left corner, another
stone statue. Dio crept over to this last statue and it opened it's
mouth and asked "Who rules this tomb?". Dio said "I dunno" and was
rewarded with an exorcist-ish spray of acid to the face.
The rest of the party moved in to explore. The 3 far statues all were
holding sceptres with little holes in the tops. There was one coffin
that had well worked bricks laid on top. The stairs seemed to lead
down into another large room but the light would not go so far as to
see just how large (as neither Helga nor Cynder was brave enough to go
down alone).
In another act of pure insaity, TIMMAH!! got tired of trying to figure
out the riddleof the bricks so he just picked one up.... and
practically blew half the party away! The coffin literally exploded,
dishing out a sick 29 HP's of damage which dropped poor Dio who wasn't
even looking. Luckily, Helga and Cynder were at the far side of the
room, debating on who should go down the stairs when it happened. In
the explosion, a *TING TANG TANG* was heard of what sounded like rods
being thrown. Helga and Cynder did a quick search of the area and
found 3 small brass rods. They inserted them into the tops of the
sceptres of the statues to hear 3 distinct clicks and the door in the
corner suddenly unlocked.
Until next time, listeners!!!!
09/06/10
We picked up right after we beat the Banshee into the dirt. Since
Tommy was not able to make it that night, Dio was deemd too shaken up
after his ordeal with the Banshee and his return to physical form to
continue.
We spread out through the room to give it a once over. Sorrin and
Cynder moved over to inspect the busts. As they got closer, whispers
of vile intent began to assault their ears. It was noticed that the
eyes of the busts followed them as they moved about the room. In true
Gnomish fashion, Cynder ended up walking up to a bust and poking it in
the eye to see if it was squishy or stone like the rest of the bust.
The answer was never known as 4 wraith-like forms rose from the busts
and they seemed quite pissed!!!
An epic battle ensued with almost the entire party kissing the floor
at some point. The spirits had a icy cold touch that would daze you
and we would take damage just from being close to their evil presence.
TIMMAH!!! lead from the rear and guided us to focus all our attacks at
one spirit at a time, which proved to be very effective. Things got
hairy near the end but we were able to emerge victorious! As thanks
for releasing their souls from their undead service, we were granted a
single random stat increase! That made the ass whipping we just took a
bit easier to swallow.
We gathered our wounded selves up and made our way back to the
treasure room to rest for a few hours to get ourselves right again.
Once rested, we returned to the room of Undead Death!! and opened the
double doors to the south. This opened up into a room with 3 pillars
on either side and a pentagram in the middle with some old ash dusted
over it. It was determined that this was a summoning pentagram that
looked to have been used years ago. We moved into the room and
movement above us caught our eye. We quickly discovered 2 flying
wraiths over our heads who were none too happy about our presence
there.
Being pros now at killing what has already been killed, we dispatched
these two quickly. Each wraith dropped a magical +1 hand axe. After
some observation, it was found that when we joined the two, they
merged into a sick +2 Battle Axe of Terror!!!! This was given to Helga
who almost needed a new loin cloth when she picked it up. Still
trembling with excitement, she proceeded through the next set of
doors.
These doors opened up into a hallway that lead West and down some
steep stairs. Light could be seen at the bottom. The bottom hallway
lead into a dead end room. In this room were 6 chairs all facing a
throne up on a dias. Seated upon this throne sat an Undead Dwarf,
looking at us. When we entered the room, 2 undead dwarve warrios from
either side attacked. Helga went beserk with her new axe and nearly
clove one in two. The undead Dwarf king commanded the warriors to stop
and return to their posts. Moments later, a giant fireball appeared
next to the king and set him ablaze. He then proceeded to tell us that
we could not kill him as he was under a curse. To prove this, he cut
off his own hand and in moments, a new hand sprouted. This did not
ease us much and so the fireball circled him throughout his whole
speech and conversation.... just to be sure!
He proceeded to tell us that his brother had turned evil and placed
this curse on him. The warriors were under his brother's command but
he had little control over them to keep them in check. It was this
undead dwarf that was visiting TIMMAH!!! sexually in his dreams. He
pleaded with us to find his brother, kill him, and then return and
kill him so that he could pass on to the next world. He did not want
to live life in such a foul manner. He explained that he has felt that
his brother has been weakened lately and that now is the time to
strike if we are to have any hope of defeating him. He promised to
reward us and told us that we could keep any treasure we could find
(much to Cynder's delight). Only other pieces of information we could
gather was that a few years back, Dorrian (the King) felt a strong
power in the room above and that it only made sense that his brother
had used the summoning pentagram to call forth something quite nasty.
We were also given a key and the location to a hidden passage that
should lead to the treasury and his brother.
It was here that we left off with the promise of mad treasure and
possible doom!!!
09/07/10 – Part 2
I appologize for the lateness of this recap.
We started off the session outside the treasure room that was unlocked
by the lethal discovery of the rods hidden inside the caskets. Upon
opening the door, we found a rather large, odd looking, cube in the
middle of the room and a couple of crates on the left side. Dio snuck
in as silent as a mouse and skirted the room on his way to the crates.
When he reached them, a click and whir sounded and the cube in the
center of the room rose with emerging blades gleaming and whirling.
The Slaughter Stone moved to engage those of us at the door. Sorin and
Helga moved back slightly so as to give TIMMAH!!! and Cynder a range
of fire into the melee to assist their dwarven comrades. Meanwhile,
Dio worked furiously on cracking open the crates. Once open, the stone
noticed his presence and moved back slightly to engage. A few moments
later and Dio was bleeding from a variety of cuts. After some serious
work from our tanks, the stone finally shut down permanently.
Dio had found inside the crates 2 statues. One was of a Frost Giant,
the other of a Fire Giant. After a few moments of study, it was
determined that they would each give their bearer resist 5 of the
Giant's chosen element.
We rested briefly then decided to move down the stairs. This lower
room was just as large as the upper room. 3 statues dominated the East
side of the room while 4 busts were along the west side wall. Within
moments, a ghostly wail could be heard and out of the 2 statues (the
3rd was all but destroyed) rose a fucking Banshee and a ghost warrior.
The Banshee constantly used her scream to throw us all back and
instill fear into us. Dio could not overcome this feeling of serious
dread and after attempting to destroy the urns on a nearby table to no
effect, he dropped into a fetal position and cowered, unable to shake
the devastating effects.
Meanwhile, Sorrin engaged the ghost warrior on the steps in one-on-one
combat with Sorrin eventually getting the better of the ghost, sending
it off to wherever those things go after they die.... again. With
Helga's help, the rest of the party was able to dispatch the blasted
Banshee and piss on her statue. She had a look of relief as she passed
from this world into the next but saw only middle fingers as she rose.
One part I missed. During the battle with the Banshee, Dio was struck
down and his life's blood left him. As his cold form lay on the
dungeon's flagstones, his spirit went up to plead to his God. With an
all mighty gnomish yell (and a natural 20!!), Dio was cast back down
into his body to fulfill a yet to be revealed destiney! Dio's time on
this planet is not yet complete!
This was truly an amazing moment. When it was most needed, Tommy was
able to roll a natural 20 on his plea to his God in order to save his
character and on demmand, it came up 20. Lord knows when we'll ever
see something like that again!
And that is where we left off from that session.... Stay tuned!!!!
09/20/10
We find our weary dungeon crawlers exiting the presence of the undead
liche king in search of his *evil* brother who has allegedly put a
curse on him to keep him in a state of undeath. Uncertainty of his
true intentions still float through our heads as we proceed into the
pentagram room.
After a short search with the key in hand, the secret door reveals
it'self. Dio, recovered from his fear and with fresh drawers on,
inspected the door for traps and unlocked it with the key. We were hit
by a blast of rotten air that reeked of undeath.... stuff. The
following room was pretty barren and had another door, which was also
to be unlocked by the key.
The next room had no apparent exit. The sides of the room were lined
with the remains of many dwarven statues. These statues were later
determined to be of dwarven gods, desecrated by the heathen dwarf
liche, most likely. As we began our search for what had to be a secret
door, a large stone near the far corner caught our eye. Realizing what
it was too late, the Slaughter Stone activated!
This go-round, the party knew what to do and they fell upon the stone
with vicious abandon! Short work was made of the Slaughter Stone but
the taste of victory was not to be had so easily. It was then that we
realised that the far wall was not what it appeared to be. It was in
fact a cleverly painted sheet that dropped to reveal about 10 undead
rat-faced minions, 2 undead saggy tittied chicks, and 1 short undead
dude sitting upon a throne with 3 tiny skulls flying in orbit around
his head. Battle commenced!
The minions were made short work of via Helga's roar and Cynders
Scorching burst. The saggy tittied ladies, on the other hand, prooved
to be another story. They showed slight signs of regeneration. During
the battle, the tiny undead dude would blast us from one of the 3
skulls in orbit from his head. It was found that 1 would create a
minion, one would blast you with fire, and the other would hit you
with cold and push you.
As the battle progressed, things started to look grim. Sorrin, who
fought valiantly, fell. Thanks to Dio having a store of 2 healing
pots, Cynder was able to revive him. On the other side of the room,
things were not to be so lucky. TIMMAH!!! fougnt off a saggy tittied
warrior for many rounds, deftly dodging her blows. But sadly, he was
not able to keep up the fight and was dropped. Helga rushed to his aid
only to taste the blows as well and end up kissing the dungeon floor
too.
We were able to drop the ladies finally between Lil Green, Dio, and
Cynder combining their attacks. Meanwhile, Sorrin had moved to engage
the undead lord and was dishing out some serious pain. As the lord
took more and more damage, his orbiting skulls would break. Thanks to
Sorrin being on possession of the statue of the Frost Giant, the Ray
of Cold that the undead lord kept hitting him with, did no damage. It
just pushed him back so that Sorrin was unable to take advantage of
his more powerful strikes.
Across the room, Cynder ran over to attempt to aid TIMMAH!!! who's
life blood was draining much faster than we could have imagined.
Sadly, a battle medic Cynder is not. He ended up farting on
TIMMAH!!!!'s body and TIMMAH!!!! fell into the void of the afterlife.
From there, Cynder took TIMMAH!!!!'s last healing pot and gave it to
Helga to get her back on her feet.
Across the room, Sorrin had had enough and with Dio's help, they
dispatched the undead lord. Black wispy smoke escaped the dying form
of the lord and his body crumpled to the ground.
We moved down a small stairs case at the end of the room to find 2
Orcus statues and some loot. The loot, however, was not enough to
replace the death of the face of the party. How we will survive
without a Ranger who could not Range is beyond us, lol. But his memory
will live on. We will ponder this while we eat roast Lil' Green.
We returned to the Liche King and he asked what had happened as he
felt something happen but not wha the had expected. Cynder told him
to hold up his arm. When he did, he cracked it off with his staff
only to see it regrow immediately. Apparently, we either did not fully
kill his Liche brother, killed a lackey of his liche brother, or have
just been seriously had.
And that is where we left it.... Dum dum DUMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
WISDOM OF TIMOTHY PADFOOT
Poor Timothy Padfoot died at the worst place possible: work. But he
did learn some valuable lessons in his brief life.
*When given the choice to live in a town that has 'rainbow' in its
name, or live in a town with 'wild' in its name, go with the rainbow.
*Living or dead, dwarves send you on the worst jobs possible.
*When your employer bumbles their way into a gelatinous cube trap that
a four year old could have spotted a mile away, you need a new
employer.
*Reputable employers hire you in a face-to-face meeting, not in your
dreams. They should also have skin.
*Dolls are bullshit.
*The love of a green lizard lasts forever. The love of a minotaur
cleric lasts about three hours.
Timothy Padfoot is dead. Long live Timothy Padfoot!
10/17/10
We find our heroes standing, bewildered at the events that had just
transpired. The self-proclaimed "Good" liche king was still alive and
well despite the battle we endured. As Sorrin said, "Our princess is
in another castle". We moved back upstairs to the treasure room to
camp for the night. Early in the evening, we heard some boot scuffles.
We cracked open the door to see a dwarf rummaging around the broken
caskets. When he was confronted, he claimed he had come from the
mining company we were with and that all hell had broken lose since
the foreman was killed by an apparent cave in caused by foul play. The
other miners had fallen upon each other in suspect. The dwarf, Father
Tit-Smacker, passed out a few religious pamplets to the other dwarfs,
eyed the gnomes with disdain (or was it lust?) and joined the party in
the treasure room to rest for the night.
When we awoke, the gnomes were happy that Father Cock-knocker had not
taken advantage of them. We parted and returned to the site of the
previous day's battle. We decended the stairs back into the small
treasure room where Sorrin had defiled the 2 Orcus statues. After some
time searching, Helga discovered a secret door behind the statues. Dio
moved up to inspect and set off an electical trap that set most of the
party's hair on end. He quickly and deftly disarmed the trap with ease
and we moved into the hallway. At the end of the small hallway was a
wooden door that had seen better days. It was rough and swelled with
moisture. We could hear the sound of water splashes and dripping on
the other side. With a hefty push, we were able to force the door
open.
The next room was probably grand at one point. It had since fallen
into disrepair and when I say fallen, it really had fallen. The entire
floor had fallen 30' down and was now completely submerged in foul
looking water. There were 2 islands, 1 small and the other medium
sized, made of rubble. About 85' across the room was a landing and the
door out. Around the room were ledges just wide enough for us to
attempt to move around if we chose to. Cataract moved down into the
lower room to investigate and movement was seen. Dio claimed he say a
head of some undead woman and dark shapes were seen swimming under the
surface. As Cataract moved around the room, alcoves were discovered
periodically on the walls and when he approached a few, shapes
scurried back inside the holes.
We decided to send Helga, Dio, and Sorrin ahead first to try and put
Pitons into the wall with rope to assist those of us with shitty
athletics. They got about halfway around the room when Sorrin farted,
lost his balance, and fell. His weight was too much for Dio to hold
and so he fell off as well, dragging Helga screaming into the poopy
water below. They scrambled in the water to the medium sized island.
Father Boob-whacker decided he had to move to assist in case something
started to happen and Cynder followed. They followed the rope and
piton handhelds left by Sorrin and co. At the first turn though,
Cynder was busy trying to cover his junk so that Father Sack-grabber
wouldn't try and cop a feel, and he tripped on his wizardy robes and
plumeted into the depths below. The waters then became alive!
These sea-hags and ghouls popped up and attacked the party. The main
party on the med island were quickyl surrounded while 1 sea-hag
engaged the flailing Cynder. Father Tally-whacker moved along the
ledge to about the middle of the wall and started raining down holy
death. Cynder made it to the small island and laid some hurt on the
Sea-hag but was taking serious pain in return. Dio was dancing around
the island, dishing out some hurting but was getting whacked almost as
hard. Sorrin and Helga unleashed their inner beasts and began carving
through the ghouls and sea-hag. It wasn't long before a couple ghoul
reinforcements arrived. *sad face*
Cynder fell beneath the combined might of the sea-hag and a newly
arrived ghoul while the rest of the party focused on the large group
at the med island. Thanks to a holy box dropped by Father Nipple-
tweaker, the ghouls were taking some serious damage. It wasn't long
before they fell, quickly followed by the 2 sea-hags.
After the battle was won, Helga swam over to Cynder's body, looted it,
felt up his massive gnomish piece, then chopped off a toe in a
possible attempt to ressurect later. Meanwhile, the ever graceful and
athletic Father Naughty-Parts moved around to the other landing and
secured a rope for the party to climb up. Once everyone was up, we
proceeded into the next room. Dio took point and almost fell down a
trap door but was able to spread eagle and catch himself. The trapdoor
looked to be a chute that lead right back into the water in the
previous room.
And that is where the evening ended. R.I.P. Cynder! May you beat the
crap out of Colgate in hell for all eternity!!
10/24/10
We find our friendly neighborhood Liche slayers leaving the dastardly
dangerous water room. They decended a stairwell in the following
hallway and came to a door. Dio, with his ever crafty fingers, set off
another electrical trap, shocking the bejesus out of most of the
party. Being already beaten down pretty well in the previous room, the
trap found it's mark well.
In the ensuing room, they were met with an most interesting site. The
room layout was much like a giant cog with 9 doorways. In the center,
hovering about 15-20' off the floor, was what appeared to be a dwarf
inside a giant force ball. Repeated attempts to communicate failed as
no sound or attack would penetrate the force orb.
Above each door was a number in dwarvish script, going from 1 to 9.
Being one to test his faith, Father Ball-tickler opened door #1.
Inside was an alcove with an inpenetrable mist. When they opened all
the other doors, all the doors lead into a similar mist. So Father Ass-
grabber walked into the mist but quickly backed out when he started to
feel all tingly and strange. When he exited the mist, he had ages
hundreds of years! Arthritis and back pain had set in and I'm pretty
sure he became incontinent.
Dio was next to test fate and he marched into door #6. But he had
first tied a rope around his waist. After stepping into the mist, the
rope fell to the floor, cut. Dio, on the other hand, took some pain as
he was teleported into the force orb with the dwarf stranger.
Helga was next to make the attempt. She chose door #9 and stepped into
the mists. She, too, quickly departed once she felt something tingly
on her skin. When she emerged from the mists, she let loose with a
loud "EEEE-YAAUUUU!" With now a donkey head, she had made a real "ass"
of herself (ba doom doom ching!).
The good Father Titty-Smacker decided to break out and cast a ritual
and asked his magic "hand" a few questions. It was determined by the
hand that door #2 was the safest route and that the way to disable the
force ball was in the force ball it'self. Sorrin decided to take th
plunge and stepped through door #2. He appeared inside the force orb
with Dio and the dwarf.... wearing his crown.... and ONLY his crown!
Perplexed and always one for danger, Father Nipple-tweaker decided to
step through door #7, ignoring the hand. He emerged racing towards
Helga with a lustful fury in his eyes! Helga ran into door #2 but
nothing happend and she was now trapped in the alcove with horny and
hangry Father Muppet-Molester in the doorway. He slashed at her with
his dagger but she mibly dodged out of the way. A swift left hook
jarred him back to his senses.
Father Tushie-sniffer decided to try one moor door (I forget the
number) and he appeared inside the force orb as well but knocked out
cold (& -1 surge for game purposes). This left Helga to try another
door and shee, too, entered the force orb but seemingly lost her Fire
Giant statue in the process. With the entire party in the orb, Adrik
the dwarf who was inside, briefly explained how he had been trapped in
that orb for a few hundred years but he had lost count after 100 or
so. The orb apparently sustains one in an almsot suspended animation.
He felt no need to eat, drink, or even sleep. He had determined that
there might be a way to "break" the orb if they could rock it as he
had moved it a bit prior but was not strong enough to make any
headway. So, once Father Scrotum-warmer was woken, began to rock the
ball back and forth. The ball began to move about the room and when it
met with an intersecting point in the room, it burst. Upon bursting, a
portal opened up in the floor.
Adrik exclaimed how very grateful he was to the party for freeing him
from that prison. He was anxious to decend the ladder into the portal
but the party had decided that they needed to rest for a bit. But
prior to resting, in a fit of pure insanity, they decided to test the
last door. Sorrin walked through and appeared (still buck naked) in
the air where the force orb had been.... only he had shrank! His
midget naked form plumetted to the floor. Luckily, TIMMAH!!!!'s
magical leather suit was being held by the party so he was able to oil
himself up and slip into that until they could find his other armor
(and hopefuly get him back to normal size so he could wear it).
After a long rest, the party decneded the ladder intot he depths. They
moved down a hallway and Adrik kicked open the door. It opened up into
a rather large room with 2 columns on each side. At the far side of
the room was an upright coffin with a dwarf body laying inside and
some sort of demon undead snake holding a wicked axe in front of it.
The party rushed to engaged the demon. It prooved to be quicker than
light as it was almost impossible to hit with conventional weapons.
Father Gas-Passer prayed to the all mighty Moradin (much to Adriks
pleasure and approval) and dropped an aura of holy-ness on the floor.
This affected the demon most nicely and he was soon dispatched. Upon
taking down the demon, the dead dwarf's eyes opened and he shared a
most devilshly grin. Helga walked up and sliced his head clean off.
With the demon killed, Father Ball-dragger felt invigorated and hsi
arthritis seemed to have given way. Helga's ass-face turned back into
her beared lady self we all have come to know and love. Sorrin made
like the Grinch's heart and grew back into his husky self. Next to the
coffin lay Sorrin and Helga's missing things as well. After a quick
search, Dio found a secret panel that was loaded with goodies.
And this is where we left off. Was the liche really that easy to kill?
Was that even the liche? Will Sorrin actually put his armor back on or
stay oiled and naked? Tune in next week!!
11/07/10
We find our heroes recovering from a hellacious battle from the Umber Hulk last session and the discovery of Buck, the dwarf. After some healing, he asked if we could help him recover his caravan and rescue his comrades that were taken prisoner by the dero. We obliged.
The party continued down the long tunnel and after about 2-3 miles, we heard some commotion up ahead. Dio stealthly creeped up and came to a rather large cavern. 2 ledges skirted the sides (each with 1 Dero guard on them). In the center right, there was a fire pit with a dwarf roasting on a spit. The right side of the cavern housed bedrolls and other sleeping gear as well as the caravan dwarfs, all tied up. Near them was their cart, only the mules were now hacked into pieces around the fire. In their place were some form of cave slug. At the far end of the room was some sort of mis-mash hulking creature that seemed to be made of various odds and ends of fleshy parts. The room housed about 15 Dero and 1 leader looking guy, hanging around the fire.
Dio creeped back to relay the news just when one of the 2 Dero guards at the entrance, turned and started down the hallway. The party fell back, leaving Dio hidden in the shadows. The guard looked around, turned to pee, then started whacking off. Dio crept up behind him and gave him a reach around. After realising that he didn't have 3 hands, the Dero turned and swatted at Dio. Helga rushed in and quickly dispatched him.
After some convincing, Buck spoke the jive language of the "cave monkeys" and told the other guard to "come here". He came down the hall and met with a similar end. After a quick prayer to Moradin, we decided to try and catch them off-guard and we rushed the room.
Dio and Father Boobie-grabber each took ledge and ran up their ramps to take out the dero guards. Helga rushed in, screaming in bloody fury with Adrik and Sorrin closely behind. The Dero prooved to have great reflexes and armor so were quite tough to piece but once their candy shell was cracked, they fell like wheat. Adrik immediately engaged the leader while shouting devotions to Moradin.
Dio put an arrow right through the eye of one of the Dero guards on the ledge and moved to lend missile support to the party, felling 1-2 more Dero. Father Nipple-plucker dropped some pain from afar, taking out the fool trying to unleash the meat machine from it's chains. In payment, the Dero on the ledge made like an airborne Russian and launched himself off the ledge onto the Father. Dio ran down the ledge ramp and stuck an arrow into his back, letting Father Tea-bagger free to assist the party.
Meanwhile, the leader of the Dero unleashed handcrossbow fury, mowing down us and his comrades alike.
The flesh machine broke free from it's chains and ran right at Helga and Sorrin. Helga was scooped up by it's meaty arms in a fleshy embrace in an attempt to make her face look like a house painter's radio (that one was for you, Brandon!). About this time, a few of us noticed what appeared to be an illithid head poking out from under the tarp of the caravan wagon. Sorrin dropped to one knee but rose back into action after Adrik layed on some hands (just don't ask where).
Adrik returned to the leader of the Dero and screamed a prayer to Moradin as he cleaved him in two. With just about all the Dero on the floor, in pools of their own blood, we moved to engage the flesh machine. It prooved to be one hell of a task as Helga fell to the floor with Sorrin. Father Naughty-Parts moved up and poured 2 healing pots down Helga's throat while Adrik placed his hands yet again, all over Sorrin. Helga landed a devastating blow on the creature with Sorrin delivering another with the aid of the mighty Proto! The flesh construct was looking a bit wobbly but went berserk and flailed all over the place, dropping Sorrin, Helga, Dio (who had moved in to assist), and Buck.
Meanwhile, out of the back of the chuck wagon, came 2 Dero who lept into the fray. They quickly engaged Adrik but luckily they were quickly dispatched with the help of Father Marnus. It was then that we realized that they were holding a rotten illithid head and were trying to frighten us.
This left just Father Tushie-grabber and Adrik. After a brief inner deliberation of fight or flight, Adrik decided to stand his ground so that the good Father good make good an escape. Not one to go down without a fight, Father Sack-nabber offered up a prayer to Moradin to guide his hands..... and rolled a natural 20! With that mighty blow, the construct fell to the floor, stone dead. There was much rejoicing!
We ran to heal our comrades. Sorrin and Helga were stabilized while Dio came to on his own. We untied the other dwarfs and said thanks to Moradin for protecting us. The dwarfs gave us a writ of passage made of bronze, worked to look like an armored dwarf's head. Buck said that if we come across any dwarfs in the underdark, just to show them that and they should not give us any problems. Buck requested that we accompany them just a bit father since we were all going the same route. We decided that this would be best and agreed.
Tune in next week!!
11/21/10
We find our ragtag band of heroes resting after the hellacious battle with the Dero and their monstrosity of a pet. With the dwarfs free from their bonds, we went about setting up a camp in order to give our unconcious allies some time to heal their wounds. 200+ years of isolation seemed to have an effect on Adrik as he thought it would be a good idea to burn the body of the disgusting creature (in case it had some form of regen) as well as the bodies of the Dero. The smell of cooking flesh ended up attracting one disgusting looking foul beast of a Grel.
The party engaged with Adrik taking the brunt of the beast's fury. Dio peppered the floating beaked brain with arrows while Buck and Co. lobbed bolts into it. A few Sunstrikes later and it's ichor was flowing from it's cracked and ripped brain on the cavern floor.
We rested well after that and then departed in the morning for the mining town of Forgegate, the nearest dwarven settlement. After a few hours travel however, one of Buck's scouts came running back, telling us to all hide and quick. We made a hasty shuffle to hide ourselves and just in the nick of time. A large column of goblin warriors marched down the tunneled road, about 300 strong. They looked fresh and ready for war. The following day, we had to hide for yet again, another goblin troop. This coloumn though, was a scarily 600+ goblin warriors. Something was about to happen that would not be good.
After a short while, we were surprised by the scout and a few other dwarfs from Forgegate. They took us through a clever hidden passage while the wagon went on down a different path. We took a Dwonka elevator down into the depths and arrived at the mining town of Forgegate.
We introduced ourselves to the town's guardmen and were advised to met Dagan Cockface in the drinking hall in the center of town. We arrived there and introduced ourselves. We explained our business there and Dagan agreed to assist us as best he could. He asked us if we could assist him with a problem his town has had over the past 2 years with a beast they called "4-eyes". Rumor was that it was a 2-headed troll with smarts. Apparently it was setting traps for travelers and killing small parties that went looking for it but was wiley enough to stay hidden and away from any larger hunting party. No one had yet been able to locate it's lair or acurately track it for long. We agreed and got the name of a tracker who could not only assist us in attempting to track the beast, but also show us a way to the tower of which we were originally heading.
We also got a lead that we could assist the Bloody Axes, who were a local band of warriors that go out looking for Drow trouble. Apparently, the town has had some serious disputes with the local Drow and have been at war for a good while. The Bloody Axes, per some residents we talked to, seem to keep spurring the war on with their constant aggressions agaisnt the Drow, which result in Drow retaliation.
We finally found Dorian's wife, the crazy trader. Upon seeing Buck, she stared and exclaimed that she thought he was dead. Apparently not, he replied. We were unable to purchase any goods from her as she informed us that she was up to her eyeballs with gold. Instead, we bartered with what magical items we had available and were able to come away with some nice finds (even though we got the shit end of the stick on the deal, lol).
After our trades, we sought out Arn, the tracker, to set up our plans for the following day. Together, we were able to procure a map of the immediate area and Arn marked some of the latest attacks of 4-eyes. We marked out a path we would start with and parted way until the morning.
In the morning, we made ready to part from Forgegate. There was a comotion by the drinking hall that drew our attention. When we arrived, we found that Dagan had been murdered. His throat had been slit from ear to ear. We were quickly singled out and brought before the guards. Apparently, Buck and Co had dissapeared. A few guards on the southern entrance were also killed. The guards thought it strange that Buck would haev given us the dwarven plaque as those items hadn't been used in ages. Buck was becoming more and more interesting by the moment. They had left the wagon and after some careful inspection, we found some strips of torn dwarven cloth. We were puzzled as to what that meant.
Is Buck Undead? Do the torn strips mean that he is a Mummy? Could they have been transporting a body in the back of the wagon and we never noticed? All these questions will be answered...... Next Time!
12/26/10
We find our heroes leaving the underground village of Forgehome with Arn the tracker, in search of the ellusive Four-eyes. We decided to visit the are where the 3 dwarven brothers were found murdered to start our search. On the way, we came across the underground waterfall and river. The current was pretty strong but we were able to take a small boat across.
From there, we found the room where the brothers' final resting place. As we searched the area for clues, we were surprised by 3 ghostly figures who had malice in their ghastly eyes. The ghosts took the opportunity to enter our bodies and try to take control of us. While in our heads, we were able to experience the battle of wills between the malice of undeath the the will of their former selves as we were mentalyl cursed at yet pleaded with to save them. Between being told that our mother's fucked Bugbears and tell son-and-so that they miss her, Sorrin was told to "take a bath", which struck home as Sorrin is apparently a neat freak.
After finally dispatching the ghosts, they parted this world with a smile of peace and relief on their faces. Sorrin came up with the idea that the "take a bath" remark was referencing a possible passage under the river. After some debate on what and where we should go, we decided to investigate Sorrin's hunch.
We dropped a sunrod down at the base of the waterfall. As it sank deeper and deeper, we discovered that there was indeed a passage deep under water, behind the waterfall. We strung a rope across the river, a bit farther down, just in case the current pulled us away, we would have something to grab onto before we would be pulled downstream.
The party took a dive and swam up the dark tunnel. We emerged in a small cavern with a long hallway. Down the hallway, we discovered a small line of rocks. Upon further examination, we determined that if one of the rocks were to be kicked, it would case a rockslide.
The hallway opened up into a large cavern-ish room, littered with bodies in various states of decay and dismemberment. There was a firepit and even a makeshift bed. This obviously was Four-eyes' home. We did a quick search and sfound some interesting items like a +3 Frost Short Sword and a few clockwok bombs on the body of the *Once* Famous adventurer Flint Lock.
It was here where we decided to sit and wait for the return of that dastardly Four-Eyes. Would we be succesful? Would we be his next victims? Only time will tell!!
01/02/11
We find our insane heroes, working out a plan to try and surprise Four-Eyes in his own lair. We douse his firepit with a few pints of oil and set ablaze whatever we can find that will burn. We then place ourselves around the cave and hide in the filth. After about 2-3 hours of waiting, the fire began to die down. As the light went low, in strides good 'ol Four-eyes. It is quickly determined that he is NOT a 2-headed Troll (as we had feared cause regen is a bitch!) but rather an Ettin. As he cautiously approached the fire, sniffing, we sprang into action!
Helga and Sorrin raced from across the room to engage while Adrik exploded from it's bed (reeking of Ettin stink) and engaged from the rear. Dio and Marnus rained down death from afar. Blood was spilled early and hard as Helga and Sorrin's weapons bit deep. Crossbow bolts sank deep into Four-Eye's flesh and he roared! Adrik hit home with a powerful mighty blow while Marnus rained firey doom upon him. In no time, Four-eyes dropped his massive (and Drow made) club and surrendered.
Upon further inspection, he also appeared to have Drow made armor. We bound his hands and Adrik & Marnus went to work as "Good Cop, Bad Cop" in interrogation. It was found that he used to be enslaved by the Drow and used to attack the dwarves. He was able to escape and now absolutely hates the Drow. He hunts both them and the dwarves for food but prefered the Drow meat. He also told us of an attack on Forgehome that was currently going on by a massive goblin army. No doubt, it was that massive army we saw when we first entered the Underdark. Upon hearing this, Arn demmanded that we kill the thing and return to Forgehome at once to defend the hamlet.
Four-eyes promised that he would be able to lead us to the tower that we were seeking (after we asked him if he knew where it was). Arn got furious that we were considering keeping FE alive and not killing him and in frustration, left to go defend Forgehome. FE told us of a stone mouth that spokes complicated questions. He said that he could take us as far as the mouth and that the tower is just past the mouth.
We took him at his word and camped for the night. During watch, Marnus and Adrik preached to him about the blessings of Moradin. I think we got through to one head but the other seemed a little confused. The following day, we parted from the lair, in search of the mouth. We had to swim out another exit again *sigh*. During this though, Adrik sank like a rock. To our surprise, FE swam down and assisted Adrik to the other side. It appeared the teachings of Moradin were sinking it!
Our travel took us the better part of the day as we followed various caverns and passages, while FE pointed out traps he laid for us to avoid. We finally arrived at a stone mouth which was in fact, a magic mouth. We said our goodbyes to Four-Eyes, thanked him for his help, suggested that he spend most of his hunting against Drow, and to keep Moradin's teachings close to heart. Then the mouth spoke.....
It explained that it had 5 questions for us to answer. We needed 3 correct in order to pass. The questions were acually riddles which we put our heads together and were able to cruise through (despite some being quite difficult). The mouth welcomed us and told us that we had prooved ourselves worthy for serving Lord *Hard*Peck.
We moved on and entered a very large cavern. We sat atop the top of 2 tiers. At the very bottom and against the far wall, sat Lord *Hard*Peck's tower. We could see movement milling about near it's base but couldn't quite make out what it was. After some searching, we found a steep set of stone stairs that lead down to the 1st tier. From there, we found a hole in the ground which lead into a cave on the ground floor. We lowered a rope and descended.
As we crept torwards the opening, we saw a couple of skeletons on patrol. We decided to try and catch them off guard and rushed them. Battle comenced as we strived t ofight our way out of the cave's corridor. Marnus's radiant powers began to really shine as he blasted many of the skeletons. After we can fell the skeleton party, a whooshing sound could be heard. We looked up to see a 4-armed skeleton with wicked loking blades in each hand, approaching. Lord Greivous had arrived!
01/09/11
We rejoin our jovial band if misfits as they prepare to engaged a 4-armed, blade whirling skeleton. The skeleton quickly engaged Sorrin, slashing at his beared behind. Helga, Dio, and Adrik were quick to surround the thing, dishoung out some serious pain! Meanwhile, Marnus moved into position and dropped a brilliant beacon around it which seemed to weaken it a bit. Taking advantage of this, the party turned things up to eleven and went to town on the thing. Bruised, cut, and bleeding, we dispatched the Skeleton then took a moment to rest and bandage our wounds.
We moved to inspect the tower to find that the tower had magically somehow grown an arm of sorts which barred the door. We would not be getting in the old fashioned way. Further inspection showed us a hole in the tower about 30' up. Black soot coated the edges of the hole which lead us to believe some sort of explosion had happened. We tossed up a grappling hook and rope and Dio scurried up to investigate. He peered in and the room was black with soot. Not much remained in the room and he was able to determine that something had happened in that room and exploded outward. Surprisingly though, the far walls and door were un-harmed (when one thinks about an explosion strong enough to punch a hole in the wall).
We began to climb the ropes up after Dio once all was deemed safe. Marnus slipped and fell on Adrik, who in turn fell off the rope as well. After a few muttered prayers, the two were able to ascend the rope and enter the room. After some mroe careful inspection, we found what appeared to be gnome bones almost fused to the remains of a bed frame. It appeared a fireball (or something equally as devastating) went off in this room.
We exited the room and entered a foyer of sorts. There were 2 spiral stairwells that both lead up and down. 1 door on our immediate right was locked and we could find now way in. The following door on our right was a small store room where we stocked up on a few pints of oil (just in case). Meanwhile, there was a large pile of dead bodies blocking the far door and 1 door on the left. Adrik began pulling the bodies down and consecrating them into the afterlife with Moradin's blessings. Meanwhile, Dio listened at the last remaining door and heard muffled talk about going back into the mines for Fractonium or something. Helga got bored and ended up booting open the door. Inside were about 12 emaciated deep gnomes with large claws and beady red eyes!
We rushed into the room to assist Helga as the deep gnomes jumped all over her and Sorrin. Helga screamed a bloody rage that dropped 3 while Marnus sauntered into the room and unleashed holy hell upon them, practically clearing the room with his flaming prayer to Moradin. The rest were dispatched with ease, leaving one remaining in the corner. This one seemed quite scared, as it sat shaking in it's chef's hat. For some reason, intimidating it prooved to have no effect. We asked it a few questions but got less than satisfactory answers. Only found out that the Dread Lord *Hard*Peck wanted this Fractonium but it didn't know what for. All that it wanted was it's rolling pin from the next room and to be laid to rest. We told it to go get it itself but it replied that it didn't have the heart to move. Adrik grabbed it by it's collar and tossed it forward and as it shuffled towards what we were lead to believe was the kichen's door, Adrik said a prayer to Moradin and beheaded the foul thing.
The door indeed lead into akitchen, where a rollingpin lay with an engraved "Q" (for Queer) was found. Dio took it and laid it with the body of the fallen gnome. There was some debate over the action of the beheading but it was deemed better safe than sorry as the thing could easily have been under control of the vampiric lord and could have been leading us into a trap.
We returned to the room with the stairs and Marnus helped Adrik finish consecrating the bodies. Marnus then, in an odd fit of either bravery or insanity, threw open the door that the bodies were blocking. Fluttering was heard and a swarm of mother fucking sturges flew out!!!! Marnus screamed like a school girl and said something about them being in his beard.
The rest of the party rushed to engage. It was a hard fought scrum between us and the oversized mosquitos. In the end, we preservered but we took a beating. Before we could even catch our breath though, Marnus looked back in time to see a sickly undead head peering out the door we had just came from... Dun dun DUUUUNNNNN!!!
Tune in next time to see if we survive!
